Traditions 2011

I have a tradition that I've been doing for about 10 years.

At the end of every year I reflect on the past year; all the things I've accomplished and failed.  Then I look at what I want to improve and focus on for the next year.  Occasionally someone will point out that this is a New Year's Resolution.  Well, at the risk of arguing semantics, it isn't.  It's nothing structured like "eat less and go to the gym more".   It's less about creating goals than it is focusing on the future.  Shit, maybe it is just semantics.  Ignore all that.

Originally I would embark on this tradition with a friend.  I would go with whoever was interested to the lakefront with some kind of drink and we would discuss the past and the future. It quickly became difficult to find someone to go with me, so I took it online.  Blogging the tradition made it easier to reflect on the past, because it allowed me to see exactly what I was supposed to be focusing on over the year and if I actually did it. Unfortunately, I think the 2010 blog is on a defunct website and therefor gone.

So anyway, 2011...

Man, this was a strange year for me. (Yes, I know it's technically 2012. Let's pretend I'm more timely.)

It started off very well. I got a new car.  I booked a cruise.  Got a second job which allowed me more financial freedom.   Of course I lost that job over a very silly reason.  I've been floundering financially ever since and the replacement job was a disaster which I had to quit.  I'd taken out a loan to buy a new camera and ended up both without the camera and worse off financially.

I went back to Disney for 3 days in February.  This was a big deal for me. I spend a lot of days listening to Sorcerer Radio or Mouseworld Radio; it gets me through the day. I hadn't been in Orlando since I left in early 2009.  I've been longing for it since.  Florida is the only place I've ever been really happy.  I made a lot of mistakes in 2009, but the decision to move there is not among them.  I just went about it wrong.

I sort of work for BSI Comics now, at least honorarily. I suspect Jason only gave the job because he took pity on me.  Still, I feel honored. I love that place and I feel obliged to do anything I can to help it succeed. It's also nice to be able to put it on my resume.

I've also taken positive steps forward on my photography.  Steps, not leaps. I'm only now starting to understand how much work I have ahead of me.  The science of it takes a lot of work.  I've always been a poor student when it comes to math and science.  The art is the part that I love.  Photography is fun for me.  I get excited thinking about all the shots I'm going to take at a party or event.  And when I see something that would make an amazing photograph, I feel obliged to stop everything so I can get it.

I didn't write much this year.  My websites have had constant issues. Oftentimes they've been down.  I finally let EXDCP expire. I wasn't posting on it.  I often question my ability and desire as a writer.  I love being a writer, but I just don't have the drive to be a great one.

2011 was a great year socially.  I have a lot of really great friends.  In fact, I don't know that I've ever had a time in my life when I was blessed with so many good friends.  Maybe the College Program, but that was a very short time.  There was no girlfriend in all this, but that's okay. In fact, that's great.  I don't really want a girl right now.  Sure, there are times when a lady would be convenient, but I don't want a relationship. I just want to have fun and live my life.  There's time for love later.

For 2012...

I need to think more about the future and not the moment.

I know some of what I want.  Figuring out how to get there is the big question.   How do I become a better photographer?  How do I fix my finances? How do I move to Orlando?

I need to work harder on the math when it comes to the photography.  And I'm going to have to shoot more. I also need to get a copy of photoshop.

I need to decide if I need a new primary job.  I like it here, but it's not getting me anywhere. And it reinforces the need for a second job.

Living in Orlando is still a ways off.  But this is my 10 year anniversary for my College Program. I am working on a Reunion, but it isn't going very well.  Nevertheless I will be there this year and it's going to be great. And it's time I worked on the book again.  10 years is long enough. I need to finish it.

I should probably work on being a better person though.  I've been thinking a lot about who I've been and how I've been.  Not much of it is flattering.   I'm not sure this is the legacy I want to leave behind.

So I guess that's it.  Here's to 2012. May it be the best year yet.